Do you feel guilty asking for help?
Have you ever had a crappy day where you just needed to talk to a friend and you thought, “Why should I burden them with my issues?” After deciding you didn’t want to burden anyone did you decide to woman up and handle things on your own?
Did you say no to support?
Support is a really powerful thing. When you look at the research support has been found to reduce stress, the severity and length of depression, and even lower blood pressure and heart rate.
Do you want to know something else interesting?
Men tend to lift their moods more easily than women. For men, simply meeting with friends and having a good time works quite well. This also works for women but we need a little bit more help.
For women, it’s important to go out and have a good time, be a part of the community, and sometime we even need an actual helping hand. Hugs and someone that can help us feel better about ourselves help as well.
However, as women, things can get a little bit more complicated.
Women can actually feel worse when they get help because they feel guilty and they feel like they have to reciprocate. The feeling of having to give back can create more stress and negative feelings, especially when we don’t have enough mental or physical energy available.
When it comes to asking for help are you able to receive or does the guilt and fear of having to give back keep you away?
What works for you?
If you need support right now, what’s one thing that you could do without feeling guilty?
- Ask for a hug
- Meet a friend or call them for a conversation
- As a friend or family member to take care of the kids for the night
- Talk to someone who always knows just what to say to make you feel better
- Hire a team member
- Maybe you’ve been thinking about getting a coach for some time. Is it time to take action?
Let go of the result. Just practice asking for now.
Credits
Fowler, K., Wareham-Fowler, S., & Barnes, C. (2013). Social context and depression severity and duration in Canadian men and women: exploring the influence of social support and sense of community belongingness. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 43, E85-E96.
Creavan, A., Howard, S. & Hughes, B. M. (2012). Social support and trait personality are independently associated with resting cardiovascular function in women. British Journal of Health, 18, 556-573.
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