Now don’t get me wrong; my mastermind partner is an amazing person. She helps women leave their dead end, soul sucking jobs to find their real passion in life.
That’s probably enough to recognize how great she is.
However, last week something happened.
We got into a fight. We allowed ourselves to get extremely honest with each other. We told each other what we were really feeling, what we were angry and frustrated about, and what wasn’t working.
Yes, it got tense, and it felt awkward.
However, we both knew we weren’t going anywhere and that we had each other’s best interests at heart no matter how the fight turned out.
So, we had it out. We each said what we’d been holding back for weeks because we didn’t want to hurt each other’s feelings. We were straightforward. It was hard to say and it was hard to hear, but we did it anyways.
And you know what happened…..
Breakthroughs
This week was full of breakthrough after breakthrough. Things starting shifting and opportunities began to appear
I started to share and receive feedback with Mastermind partner and we both had major ah-ha’s! Some were practical and others were related to really core beliefs. It was awesome!!
We also started to get really honest in our lives outside of our own conversations and it drew in people in ways you wouldn’t believe. Being honest and vulnerable and really speaking the truth drew people to us.
Lessons
Fight it out! Yes, fight it out, but do it elegantly.
What makes the fight elegant?
1) Create a safe environment. Allow the other person to feel safe in the conversation. Make it clear that no one will lose their job, have their contract terminated, find themselves removed from a project, or lose a valued friendship.
Make it clear that this is about the work or the situation and that you have your colleague or peer’s best interest at heart and mean it. Make it clear that the purpose of the conversation is to make things better for everyone.
It isn’t necessary to say this during the conversation. This is something that you demonstrate with your words and behavior all the time. If you’re distant, ignore the person you work with, or just don’t seem to have the time for them they may not believe you when you tell them you have their best interests at heart. Live it and mean it.
2) Speak truthfully but respectfully. This means avoid using hurtful language and raising your voice while staying open to hearing what the other person has to say, no matter what. Say what you need to say while keeping the other person’s feelings in mind at all times.
The minute they feel threatened they will go into fight or flight and they won’t be hearing you anyways. Your argument will be lost. You can reasonably expect the same from the person you are speaking with, and if you don’t experience the same level of respect, continue the conversation at a later time after things have cooled off.
3) Let it go. You might say the wrong thing and the person you are having this conversation may say the wrong things as well. Let it go. Forgive yourself and forgive them. No one is perfect. In the same way that you are not intentionally saying things to harm the other person, they are not saying things to intentionally hurt you either. Remember this and let it go.
4) Take action. Acknowledge that the conversation took place by taking action. Take at least one action or make one change to acknowledge the other person’s point of view. They will feel acknowledged and no matter what, you will get better. Your action might help you improve your life and/ or business or it could turn out that taking this action doesn’t work at all. However, you will have learned something about yourself. And, your friend or colleague will learn something by seeing you implement their suggestion, even it they end up learning they had a bad idea. ‘
With just a little bit of effort you can always find and acknowledge at least one thing you could change or adjust. You can’t lose.
In love, excitement, and freedom.
Priya
